Asking for Help in the Postpartum Period
Asking for help isn’t easy for some people, but let me tell you- Asking for help after you’ve had a baby is essential for your wellbeing! You will be faced with a rollercoaster of emotions, hormone production, being responsible for a tiny human, learning how to navigate your individuality and relationships, and let’s not forget the sleep deprivation. With this in mind, set yourself up for success by asking friends and family to help you out- they love to!
Here are a few of my favorite ways to ask for help without sounding pushy or needy (trust me you aren’t!).
Setting up a meal train- have one of your close friends or family members help you out with this by gathering emails of other family members and friends in the area. Send out a general email saying that by contributing a meal, they are helping immensely with your health and wellbeing! They can sign up for a day/week and then drop off the meal to your doorstep on their scheduled day. If you want to be picky with your meals, you can create a list of your favorite meals or foods and have your loved ones choose from the list. This is an easy way to set up a meal train: Food is medicine
Many of us (me included) have a habit of saying, “Let me know if you need anything”. And… on top of that, many of us (also me included) respond with, “Thank you! I’ll let you know”- which most of the time we don’t, even when we need help the most. SO the second item on this list is BE SPECIFIC. If someone offers help, respond with something specific that you need.
This could be: I would love to see a friendly face, could you come over for an hour or two this week? OR- If you are out and about this weekend, would you mind grabbing me some eggs from the grocery store? OR- I need a good laugh, have any good memes or movies you’ve seen lately?
Set up a Postpartum Doula fund or ask for everyone at your baby shower to pitch in to hire one. Having a postpartum doula is a wonderful and invaluable way to increase your health and wellness after you’ve had a baby. Check out my services page HERE to learn more about my Postpartum Services.
Remember, this will be a very sensitive and vulnerable time in your life! It is okay to say no, and okay to have strong boundaries with your loved ones. Think and be picky about who you want in your space during that time. Yes, this includes family members- who are so looking forward to having a new baby around!
Here are some ways to protect your space and build strong boundaries:
Limit visiting hours to one or two hour chunks & pick a time of day where you have the most energy
Post a sign on the front door that says, “We are so grateful for the food you’ve contributed! We are very tired and aren’t up to visitors right now. Please leave on the front porch. We love you!”
If people are giving you unsolicited advice or tips on how to carry, feed, bathe, or take care of your baby, respond with “Thank you for the information, I will let you know if I need help”.
The postpartum period is a time of transition, change, sweetness, and can be overwhelming. Having proper support, getting nutritious food, and setting clear boundaries are just a few ways in which you can increase your well-being after having a baby.